Have you ever felt like your generosity isn’t enough—not because what you give lacks value, but because the people on the receiving end don’t see it that way? I’ve been there. When you give and give, it feels good at first. You feel helpful, connected, and maybe even appreciated. But eventually, you notice something unsettling: the more you give, the more people seem to expect it, and worse, they stop seeing you—they only see what you can do for them.

At some point, you’ll stop giving, or maybe life will force you to slow down. That’s when the masks fall off. The people who were all smiles and warmth suddenly disappear, or worse, they start treating you like you’ve done something wrong. Why? Because they were never truly there for you. They were there for what you could give.

Here’s the tough lesson I learned: some people don’t want what you’re giving; they want what you have. They want your time, energy, money, or resources—not out of need, but out of entitlement. And the moment you stop overextending yourself, you’ll see their true colors.

Give With Intention, Not Obligation

Generosity should come from the heart, not from a sense of duty or guilt. If you’re giving because you feel like you have to, rather than because you want to, stop and ask yourself why. Who are you really serving?

I’ve realized that giving out of obligation doesn’t just drain you—it creates a toxic dynamic. It’s like trying to fill a bucket with a hole at the bottom. No matter how much you pour in, it’s never enough, because the problem isn’t you—it’s the hole.

Protect Your Peace

Here’s the truth: not everyone will appreciate your generosity, and some people will never stop taking until you say no. Protect your peace by setting boundaries. Give what you can, but don’t give more than you have—emotionally, financially, or physically. And don’t let guilt push you into overextending yourself.

It’s okay to say, “I can’t right now.” It’s okay to hold onto something for yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being.

Recognize Who’s Really in Your Corner

When you stop over-giving, you’ll see who truly values you and not just your resources. Some people will stick around, understanding that your worth isn’t tied to what you can do for them. Others will vanish, angry or indifferent, because they were only there for the perks.

And you know what? That’s okay. Let them go. The people who genuinely care about you won’t make you feel guilty for not giving more than you have.

Give Because It Feels Right

Generosity is beautiful, but only when it comes from a place of abundance—when you give because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. If you don’t have the time, energy, or resources, it’s not selfish to say no. It’s self-care.

So, to anyone who feels like their giving is being taken for granted, remember this: your value isn’t in what you give; it’s in who you are. Give when it feels right, but never at the expense of your peace, your joy, or your well-being.

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can give yourself is boundaries. That’s where true generosity begins—with love for yourself.

Let me know if this resonates with you, or share your thoughts in the comments. Have you ever had to set boundaries with your giving? How did it change your relationships?

With love and strength

Priscilla Sombe/Unboxed and Free

From Blogger iPhone client